You are committed to that relationship. You have children together. You see a spark of humanity in the guy—even when you are told he’s cheating on you. You love him! You know he either didn’t do it—because of course everyone else is lying, or they’re just jealous. When he admits that he’s cheating, he says he’s sorry and won’t do it again. You believe him.
You also believe him when he hits you. You have a black eye. He says he drank too much. He’s so sorry and won’t do it again. You explain the black eye to others by saying, “I hit my head.”
The next time he loses control, he breaks everything you got from your beloved grandmother. You are so sad. Your grandmother died and you will never see her again. You are so upset and yell at him. This time he throws you down the steps. Your arm is broken. When you see a doctor you say, “I’m just clumsy. I fell down the steps with a load of laundry.”
The one you love is so sad. He’s crying this time. He’s so sorry. He does the dishes and bathes the kids for you. You know he didn’t mean to hurt you. He loves you!
The next day he brings you a pair of diamond earrings. You have a broken arm, but you forgive him, once again.
The next time he’s so angry because you visited with the neighbor and lost track of time. You didn’t get home in time to make dinner before he got home from work. You turn up the TV, so the neighbors won’t hear him yelling. You grab the kids and hide in a closet while he breaks all the dishes.
This time, he storms out of the house and doesn’t come back for days. You sweep up the glass and return things back to normal.
What do you think will happen when he comes back? Do you know that you are living in fear? You are lying to yourself if you think he’s sorry and won’t do it again. You are lying to everyone else. You are living in fear that he will come back enraged and hurt you or the children.
By now, do you know that things will not get better? Do you know that you can not change him? What would you do if he hurt your children?
Well, Susan, do you know that you don’t have to live like this?
Call for help!
Domestic Violence Hotline
Advocates are available 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) in more than 200 languages. All calls are free and confidential.Leave a Comment